Christmas Eve At Pride Rock
by everlasting-oranges
Summary: No plot whatsoever lol. Kind of stupid to me, but who knows, maybe you'll like it? Adult language and mild violence... and its dysfunctional lol.


1Christmas Eve At Pride Rock

Summary: Has no plot, whatsoever. Also makes fun at almost all the characters lol. Beware if you're the touchy type (yes, there are people protective over a cartoon lol.) Kind of violent also o.O;

Warnings on certain characters:

Nala is a total b!#$

Kiara is very, very, VERY... ah stupid. Lol.

Common Warnings:

Cursing.

Mild Violence.

PS: If I usually review your story and have seemed to "stop", its because im reallllyyy behind in reading - you should see all the author alerts in my email O.O

"La! La la la la fa la la! Fa la la la, la la la LA!" sang Kiara, jumping from rock to rock, stringing shiny red and silver garland everywhere, a santa hat placed cheerfully on her head, tilted slightly. It sickenly reminds you of how Nuka might have acted, if he wasn't evil. Nala rolled her eyes at her daughter singing the Christmas songs. "Tisssss the season to be jolly! Fa llaaa laaa-." Nala was clearly in her path, and Kiara stopped for a moment, cocking her head to the side thinking like a arogant puppy, before stringing the garland onto her mother.

Nala growled at the shiny decorations, clawing it off of her, tearing it in half in the process. Kiara, looked at it, wide eyed. "Quit being so nuts, Kiara," she muttered, brushing the last of the broken garland off of her. Kiara started to bawl loudly at the torn decorations.

"Kiara? What's wrong?" Simba rushed to his crying daughter, eager to baby her. Her mother rolled her eyes once again as Kiara raised her tearful eyes at her, and Nala moved herself to lay on her backside.

"Mah - Mah - Momma ripped my garland! I was just trying to get the pride into the Christmas spirit!" she whined, looking at her father with pitiful puppy dog eyes. Simba turned to his mate.

"Is this true?"

"First of all, yes, and second of all, I'm a grown lioness. No need to treat me as a cub," she said nastily. "Now, go check on the outer Pride Lands, make sure they're, ah, safe," she waved him outward with her paw, and he went obediently. He was always a sucker to obey Nala, no matter how meanly she may talk to him. She turned toward her daughter. "You nasty, ignorant priss," she said in a low tone, "I told you, first rule in fact, never 'tattle' on me to your father, nor anyone else. Got it?"

Kiara didn't answer, only grinned at her, in that stupid Santa hat. Nala struck the princess in her face, only one claw catching her cheekbone and scraping almost to the edge of her mouth. She fell, half screaming half roaring as if a bomb had hit her, the hat still staying diligently on her head, the string circling around her head to keep it in place doing it's job. Lionesses above gasped and screamed, one of them rushing off of Pride Rock, another running to get Kovu. The rest of the lionesses clammering down to the young lioness, as Nala looked on nonchalantly.

"None of you tell Simba, or all of your throats are slit!" Suddenly, the tune of jingle bells are heard. Nala shot a look over to Kiara, who was lying down, eyes closed, swaying, and humming the tune. "I have an idiot as a daughter," she said loud enough for the others to hear. But apparently Kiara's humming took all of her thought and she did not hear her mother's nasty comment.

Zazu, who had appeared unnoticed for sometime, spoke up. "Point taken." He paused a moment, hopping the way birds do toward Kiara's swaying self. "Always knew she wouldn't grow to a normal lioness. Of course, neither did her father," he remarked, looking out as Simba could be seen diligently looking behind ever rock, no matter what size, for "predators."

Nala sighed, "My whole family's screwed up. What a wonderful Christmas Eve it is." She turned to her still sobbing daughter. "You know, if you keep this up, Santa isn't going to bring anything for you."

"Oooohhh yeah!! I better get to bed!" Letting a high pitched squeal, she ran to the den with the cubs. The lionesses, who a moment ago had felt sorrow for her condition, now snickered in her wake. Kovu, who had heard the conversation, stepped up to Nala.

"Oookay, this is weird. Does she really believe in Santa?" Nala nodded, laughing, and Kovu blushed. "She's married to me now, she HAS to know. Somebody should have told her last year after Christmas." He shot Nala a look, and she returned with sticking out her tongue.

Soon the sounds of paw prints were heard, and Nala checked to see who it was. Four lions, all pitch black, not only their mane but the pelt, came charging up. Before Nala could send word to the lionesses, the one leading called out. "We are A.S.S.! Freeze and do not send lionesses!"

"Ass? They're asses?" asked a confused Kovu. Kiara, roused from the loud voices, came outside and stood beside her mom, eyeing the strangers wierdly.

"Told you we need to change our name," muttered one of the lower ones to the other.

"Yes, we are A.S.S., the African Social Services. We have heard there's a case of cub abuse.

Kiara, however, had heard only the first part and was rolling on the ground laughing. "They said ass!" she squealed into another fit of laughter. It took all of Nala's strength to keep herself from striking her again.

Nala and Kovu screamed, ducking. A evergreen tree had just come sailing onto where they were talking, missing Kiara by inches. 'Unfortunately,' Nala thought, while wondering who had threw the pine tree up here - and wait, how did a pine tree get into Africa? Simba appeared, smiling, and gave his daughter a big hug. "Look, hunny, lookie what I got you! Your very own Christmas tree, out here in the Savannah!"

Kiara squealed and ran to hug the tree. "How in the world did you get that to here?" asked Nala, but the A.S.S. cut in.

"Nala of Pride Rock, you are here by arrested for cub abuse. Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of animals. You have the right to a attorney. If you cannot afford one...." they kept reading, and Nala mocked them.

"Fine then, punk!" screamed one of them, shoving her against the rock and chaining her paws together.

"Cooommme on! Just let me stay home for Christmas!" wailed Nala, looking at Kiara coldly, a smile planted on her lips.

The A.S.S. lions looked at each other then sighed, one unchaining her. "Fine, we'll be back by midday tomorrow." They took off, and Nala smiled coyly at Kiara, who winced and crouched down.

Soon, Nala attacked Kiara. "Stupid little..."

Epilouge:

Nala slashed up Kiara after calling her some names. The A.S.S., hearing this, came back up and took Nala to their headquarters. Simba bawled and followed his mate while they went. Kiara bawled because Santa didn't come the next day. Kovu bawled because he married such a ignorant lioness.

It was a very unmerry Christmas.

A/N: Okkaay.... thought this was a bit stupid... but all well lol. Posting anyway. Review plz!


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